As spring has finally arrived, and with most Americans spending much of their time at home, local dad Aaron Francis has already mowed his lawn five times this week. “Well, first I mowed it because I hadn’t mowed for a bit, and it was a nice day,” Francis told reporters. “The second time, I realized

After spending the last six weeks adhering to shelter-in-place guidelines, 34-year-old Chicago resident Jim Godfrey has announced that he’s officially seen every movie that exists on Netflix. “I didn’t think it was possible,” Godfrey told reporters over Zoom. “But then again I didn’t think it would be possible to stay inside for two months straight.

As he’s been spending more time at home working remotely, local dad Aaron Benson has started making jokes about how the days seem to run together and have no distinctive characteristics. “Hey, hey, what day is it?” Benson was heard asking his teenage son for the fourth time. “Is it Tuesday or Saturday? No one

While most public places across the nation have been closed as part of various shelter-in-place orders, 47-year-old father of two Jonathan Frier has determined that going for between 18 and 36 holes of golf in a single day is his way to “socially distance.” “Listen, I’m supposed to stay six feet away from people, and

While working on a homeschool curriculum for his 14-year-old son, local dad Jerry Schwartz has decided that the most important topic he will cover will be general lawn maintenance. “Yeah, I know the school told us we should cover things like history, math, science, all that stuff,” Schwartz told reporters while settling close to his