"Oh no, turkey bacon? What am I even going to do with this?" a noticeably shaken Parker was seen asking himself. "Do I just...cook it? What's the point?"

As temperatures in the Carbondale, Illinois area remain consistently in the upper-80’s and lower 90’s, local dad Gregg Jefferies has set an area record by asking his neighbor, “Another scorcher, eh?” for the 12th day in a row. The line has generally been accompanied with an exclamation such as, “Hoo boy,” “Boy, let me tell

During a spring and summer season in which many activities have closed down or been limited, while spending social time outdoors has become increasingly encouraged, local dad Derek Hammond’s backyard hammock has never seen so much action. “It’s been one hell of a damn ride,” the hammock told reporters. “Derek is all over me this

With temperatures for the past few weeks steadily in 90-degree territory, Schaumburg, Illinois father of two Fred Richardson has decided that, instead of “burning through money” by running his home’s central air conditioning unit, he would simply go shirtless. “Listen, it’s not too hot really, not if you got a few fans going, and lose

McHenry, Illinois father-of-three Jeremy Stringer has recently made numerous claims that he knows “all the pricing secrets” for saving money while shopping at Costco. “Don’t ask how I know,” Stringer told reporters. “But I know all the secrets. Here’s just a taste—when the price ends in .79? You’re getting a good deal. And don’t get