"Oh yeah, I love that song. You know, 'Harry Truman Happy Day, Something Something Johnny Day, mmhmmh mmnhm JOE DIMAGGIO.' I got it locked down."

34-year-old Richard Sanders is currently wondering why his 1-year-old computer, which has 32 different tabs open, including three YouTube videos, Netflix, Hulu and Twitter, is running so slow.

"Listen, I've got a pretty good handle of things using my right hand," Andrews told reporters. "But I figured, what if my left hand starts getting cold from the beer I'm holding?"

With Super Bowl Sunday finally here, local dad Steven Algiers has announced he plans on only slamming back “10, maybe 11” beers during the game. “I know, only 10 beers? On Super Bowl Sunday? But, I’ll admit, I went a little overboard last year, so I figured I’d take it easy this time around,” Algiers

Shortly after she asked her husband to stop by Costco to pick up paper towels, Margaret Benson of suburban Chicago began to panic. “This was a mistake. He’s been gone way too long,” she muttered to herself before texting her husband John. “I knew I should have gone myself.” Moments later, John sent back a