Satire

Dad Spends Entire Weekend Winterizing His Lawn Mower

With winter fast approaching, and temperatures hitting below freezing across much of the country, Ohio father-of-three Arthur Polanski spent the entire weekend winterizing his riding lawn mower, to ensure it’s good to run when spring arrives next year. Polanski spent all of Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday emptying the fuel tank and adding a stabilizer

Dad Spends Entire Weekend Winterizing His Lawn Mower
Satire

Local Dad Strongly Considering Just Mowing Over Leaves

Reports indicate that local dad Christopher Glenn, fed up with having raked his lawn three times this autumn already, is strongly considering just mowing over the fresh piles of leaves he found in his yard this morning instead of raking them up. Glenn, who acknowledges that the masticated leaves would not be “the best look”

Local Dad Strongly Considering Just Mowing Over Leaves
Satire

Dads Nationwide Mad At How Early Christmas Decorations Being Put Up

Halloween has passed, Thanksgiving approaches, and dads across the nation have joined together to officially announce the beginning of “get mad at how early people are putting up Christmas decorations” season. “It’s a wonderful time of year,” said 53-year-old father-of-four Jeremy Johnson. “Nothing feels quite as good as getting irrationally annoyed at a Christmas decoration

Dads Nationwide Mad At How Early Christmas Decorations Being Put Up
Satire

Man Pretends He Knows About Every Ingredient At Fancy Restaurant

While dining at a fancy restaurant with a friend who was visiting from out of town, Gary Andrews, 35, pretended to know about every single ingredient on the menu, even though he had never heard of half of them. “Oh yes, this dish has matsutake and sorrel, very intriguing,” Andrews mumbled while looking through the

Man Pretends He Knows About Every Ingredient At Fancy Restaurant
Satire

Local Dad Blames Every Traffic Jam On “Rubber-Neckers”

After finding himself stuck in slow-moving traffic last Tuesday, local dad Jonathan Kresge cursed out loud and blamed the “dang rubber-neckers” that he felt were responsible for the delay. This marked the 1,000th consecutive time Kreske has blamed people slowing down to see an accident as the reason behind a traffic jam, despite the fact

Local Dad Blames Every Traffic Jam On “Rubber-Neckers”