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Friend Totally Has “The Best Idea Ever” For A Bar

While catching up with his old college roommate, George Frederick, 29, declared that he totally had the best idea for a bar and that “we should totally go in on this together.” Frederick, whose bar will include “like 20 beers on tap, and a bunch of super high end whiskeys” was adamant that his idea

February 19, 2019

Satire

Dad Tries To Hide Terror While Teaching Son To Drive

John Faris, a 46-year-old father of two in Oak Brook, Illinois, was recently spotted in the passenger seat of his 2012 Ford Taurus, barely concealing his pure unadulterated terror while teaching his 15-year-old son how to drive. “Now, keep your eyes on the road and OKAY BRAKE HIT THE BRAKES,” he was heard shouting as

February 19, 2019

Satire

Local Man Constantly Exercising Thanks To 12-Ounce Curls

Bill Thompson is in peak physical condition, according to himself, thanks to a strict regimen of daily 12-ounce curls. “Yep, I hit the can or bottle at least four or five hours a day,” he boasted between sips of his beer, motioning to his bicep. “Check out this puppy. Wanna feel it?” While Thompson has

February 17, 2019

Satire

Golfer Hopes To Improve Short, Medium And Long Game This Year

42-year-old Ed Benson thinks this could be the year he finally turns around his short, medium and long game struggles. “If I can just improve those three areas, I’d be crushing it out there on the course,” said Benson. “Step one is identifying the problem — now I just need to fix it. Or them.”

February 17, 2019

Satire

Man Disgusted To See Neighbor Using Electric Lawn Mower

Multiple reports out of Whitefish, Wisconsin indicate that Lance Binsky’s neighbor has recently purchased an electric lawn mower, much to the disgust of the 43-year-old resident. “I mean, an electric lawnmower? Can you believe it? It’s like he has no sense of pride at all,” Binsky was heard complaining. “Look at it, it’s got a

February 12, 2019