As the endless cycle of Christmas music and blinding brightness of neighborhood lights are sure to tell you, the holiday season is upon us.
And as every dad can attest, it’s never too early to start shopping for your loved ones…until it’s suddenly Christmas Eve and you realize you still have half of your shopping left.
But have no fear! Classic Dad is here to provide for you a handy, easy guide for all your holiday needs. Don’t worry, there will be beer.
Edited by Laurie Wing and Michael Yannon
Listen, you’re a dad. You love America. And you love a rustic piece of art. And you love making sure that no one else can get into your really good whiskeys. And, most importantly, you like feeling like Jason Bourne using fancy spy scanners.
We know we had your attention with “American Flag art that secretly houses booze.”
But when you add technology straight from the CIA, you’ve got a winner. This clever, beautifully designed piece is handmade in the USA with a biometric fingerprint scan locking system, so it’ll not only house your (or, more likely, your dad’s) booze, it’ll make sure that no unwanted individuals can get in on the party.
Just swipe your finger and The Speakeasy reveals its wonderful secret! Comes in two, three and four foot options starting at $199.00.
Nucleation sounds like something most dads would be worried about, but thankfully when it comes to beer glasses that word goes from scary to delicious.
It doesn’t matter what beer dad is drinking this winter, he’s gonna want to drink it from a glass designed for beer lovers. These glasses hold a unique shape and nucleation in the bottom of the glass which keep the bubbles and aroma coming, to enhance the enjoyment of hoppy and flavorful beers, especially IPAs.
If you need to know why these scientifically crafted glasses are called a muffin top, you might need to dust up on your dad jokes. As an added bonus, these artisanal glasses come from a certified Service-Disabled Veteran-Owned Small Business. At $34.99 a four pack, this is the perfect set for the dad who has gotten a taste for hoppy ales.
No, this isn’t 1998 and we are not talking about a Bop It. Though we can see how you’d get that impression. Charge it! Jump it! Light it! Boost it!
But even if you’re a dad of the 90’s, this will speak to you more than any other electronic game. What better way for a dad to take care of their loved ones than to give the gift of safety this holiday season?
Clore Automotive Products provides everything from Jump-N-Carry jump starters to PRO-LOGIX battery chargers, Light n Carry and Charge it! Clore products can address every possible worst case scenario a dad can think of when their son or daughter takes their car out in that snow storm. Price varies per product.
Safes aren’t just for heist movies and hotel rooms anymore. Console Vault can make sure that while dad is trying to beat Google Maps, he can also keep his valuables safe and stored in his own vehicle with the security of a bank.
As the leading national brand, Console Vault offers top technology in manufacturing the highest quality safes, built with heavy gauge steel and a choice of three unique locking mechanisms, preventing unauthorized access to your valuables. Each in-vehicle safe can be quickly and easily installed. You don’t even have to modify your car, it can work seamlessly with your pre-existing headrest. For $269…no we’re not going to make the “this safe is a steal joke” this time.
File this under the “Don’t Tell Mom” file: there is a table saw injury every nine minutes. Thankfully, MICROJIG’s original product, the GRR-RIPPER, spares fingers from dangerous table saw blades.
The GRR-RIPPER is an essential tool for any DIYer or woodworker. It is a push block that gives users control, protects their hands and protects against dangerous kickback while they use a table saw. $59.00
While dads are out there complaining that everyone uses their smart phones to tell time, little do they know that they can get themselves a sleek and affordable watch for their actual wrist this holiday season.
This Swiss-made watch series features highly precise ETA movements and premium specs like sand blasted surgical grade steel, sapphire crystal, Superluminova C3, an engraved screwdown back and a signed buckle. Water resistant too. At $299.00, that’s a bargain compared to all those fancy shmancy smart watches out there.
As all dads know, they could have been a big star (after all, they can still rock the Stairway to Heaven riff on their old electric) but fatherhood was a more important calling.
They took one for the team.
That team might as well let dad know how much they appreciate the sacrifice, like by getting them iRig’s Micro Amp. This portable, surprisingly powerful 3-channel micro amp connects directly to iPhone, iPad, Mac and PC allowing users access to AmpliTube, IK’s amp modeling app, for some killer tones and effects across all genres.
You can even use this with your favorite learning apps, play along with songs and even record for more productive practicing. The iRig’s Micro Amp features onboard guitar amplifier controls and headphone for when the mood strikes you while the family is asleep. It includes 6AA batteries you can also keep the music going with an 9V adapter.
Let dad get his rock on for just $149.
You can always spot the biker dad.
He’s in good shape, wearing clothing way too tight, and knows more about the effects of cardio on the knees of a man over the age of 40 than most doctors.
He’s got all the gear. The helmet, the spandex, the bike…but one thing he doesn’t have? A blinker on his backpack! RoadwareZ presents the first and only cycling backpack that knows where you are going with first-to-market hands-free automatic directional signaling, including manual & voice control. The Safe Ride Navigation takes riders through the safest routes (sidewalks, parks, bike routes). Costing only $249.99, this a must-have for any cyclist, dad or no. But it’s definitely something dads should brag about.
There are two reasons why dads like to cook.
The first involves grilling, but honestly the fact that tiny flamethrowers exist to make food tastier might be most dads’ favorite thing.
The Whip-It is in a class upon itself, featuring a unique flame that rotates in three different angles (0°, 45°, and 90° angles) for a variety of applications at home or professionally. Its Piezoelectric Ignition Technology couples with a precision flame tip to provide unparalleled power and five-star performance. The Flex Torch is available in a collection of colors and includes a carrying case and recipes booklet. You can take it home tonight for just $59.99.
The perfect gift for your face this winter! Celebrate the holidays all winter long with Stubble Populous and Classic Santa Beard Heads, and you’ll be able to spread joy even in the harshest weather. Keeps you warm, it protects your face, and for just $19.99+ you can add the aura of dad facial hair without the scratchiness.
Skin care is not just for moms or daughters terrifying their dads as they start dating. Yes, men (and dads) can benefit from proper cleansing and moisturizing. Celebrity fans have included members of KISS, Jim Carrey, Brad Pitt, Paul Newman and Robert Redford. With prices starting at $9, you’re sure to find a way to make dad glow.
Let’s face it, putting up holiday lights is much more fun than taking them down. Once the thrill of ticking off your neighbor subsides, taking them down is just another chore, so it may be April before you get around to it.
EverLights , a new decorative smart lighting system that virtually disappears in the daytime, can be left on year-round. But don’t let that take away your creativity the day after Thanksgiving. With millions of color combinations accessible through the app on your smartphone, you can alter your lighting each Christmas, but you can also use it for other holidays.
Install one time for a lifetime of year-round festivity. Bonus: your status as the “lazy neighbor” just improved dramatically. $200.
Pizza. Peanut butter. Wings.
Three things that should not go together, but hear us out. This magic treat is made with the highest quality Swiss-style chocolate with homemade English toffee topped with a blizzard of chocolate, peanut butter, caramel candies and sugar snowflakes. It’s then finished with white chocolate drizzle and served in a custom pizza box. It is 28 ounces of pure holiday magic. $36.90 is all it’ll take for all this deliciousness.
RapidX features devices ranging from wireless chargers & high-speed USB chargers to classy phone wallets & dash mounts, all offered in a multitude of colors to suit your personality. If dad is even a little bit tech savvy, he’ll appreciate these little guys. Price varies.
The MegaPod™ is the ideal all weather pop-up Pod™ if you need room for more than 2 people. Don’t let the weather keep you from your tailgating party outdoors!
Though, let’s be honest, you’re not going to tailgate indoors like a chump, no matter the weather. But you might as well be comfortable. This thing pops up and folds down in seconds. There’s ample room for a variety of seating including 2 chairs and a small folding table, 3 to 4 folding chairs or even 2 benches starting at just $199.99.
How about a rugged belt that goes well with a pair of dad jeans? This supple, durable leather belt in an English Tan color is unique. Popov takes the time to burnish and polish every belt edge – this adds refinement and allows the strap to pass smoothly through your hands. Finally, a solid brass buckle offers a comforting weight and keeps your pants where you want. $79 USD with free shipping.
Tired: getting dad a tie every holiday. Wired: getting dad 12 best-selling neckties with a year of ties subscription to expand their wardrobe to help them look great all year. 3 ties, every 3 months. Price: $199
Get ready for a description that’ll make dads nationwide salivate: “It’s like liquid bacon that’s good for you!” It’s worth every penny of the $15 it’ll set you back to completely change your grilling game.
We’re going to toss a lot of fun dad words out there. Words like 1,500 amps up to 30 jump starts p/charge. For gas engines up to 7 liters & up to 4.5 liters for small diesel cars, SUVs, boats, trucks, ATVs, motorcycles etc. Spark-proof connections, reverse polarity protection, ultra-safe/mistake-proof design w/spark-proof tech, reverse polarity protection, which allows it to safely connect to any battery An ultra-bright 200 lumen LED flashlight w/7 light modes including SOS & emergency strobe. If you didn’t understand all that, don’t worry, your dad did, and he wants it. Charges 6 devices. $189.95
Buying a onesie solidifies your entry into deep, deep hibernation for the winter. Or at least a weekend binging Game of Thrones. Check out this and the rest of Shinesty’s cool and quirky apparel at https://www.shinesty.com/. It might not look as comfy as a Snuggie, but it’s dad-approved and MUCH warmer.