Local residents are at a loss of words upon release of the shocking news that neighborhood dad Jack Anderson actually likes Jayson Garret, the high school senior who has just started dating his 16-year-old daughter Jessica.
Experts simply can’t explain how Anderson, who once drove Jessica to a date at a drive-in theater and stayed in the car, menacingly watching over the two through the rear-view mirror for the whole film, was won over by Garret, a member of the football team two grades older than his daughter.
Not only has Anderson expressed positive sentiment towards the young man almost assuredly pushing his daughter to go “all the way,” but he has been heard by neighbors gushing that “Jayson is, just, so cool.”
Some sources even claim they have seen him psyching himself up in the mirror for when the 18-year-old who has insisted he’s not going to college because it’s “just a racket, man” comes by to pick up his daughter.
“It’s baffling,” said Anderson’s wife, Joy. “I mean, Jayson seems like a nice enough boy. Maybe not the smartest young man, but nice enough. But I’ve never seen Jack so smitten with someone, not to mention one dating our little Jessica.”
No one quite knows why Anderson seems to like his daughter’s boyfriend, although one theory posits that it might have something to do with her borrowing an ancient voodoo mind spells book from the local library.