Dad Rule: Dad Is The Top Podcaster

May 1, 2018

It’s time again to add a new rule to the Official Handbook of Dad. The patriarchal guide, created by the Founding Fathers and continuously updated by the top dads of the day, provides needed guidance and wisdom to dads everywhere.

Ponder carefully, this week’s proposal: Dad is the top podcaster.

Welcome to the world of fancy pants new media! Satellite radio, internet TV, Huluflix, etc., it’s all evolving seemingly by the minute.

And, of course, we have the ubiquitous podcast. Everyone has a podcast these days, from top celebrities to disgraced & deposed Fox News anchors. “Experts” in every field claiming their ‘cast will cure all that ails you, if you ain’t podcasting you ain’t relevant.

But in this cluttered brave new world, who is the best podcaster? Dad, of course. He got his broadcasting start way back in the day hosting a short-wave pirate radio show out of his basement and now he’s dominating the days of digitally downloaded content.

Dad’s podcast is the only life hack you need. His Zen-like knowledge of every facet of life is the engine that drives record-shattering downloads from the Apple and Google apps. He might be the greatest media revelation since TNT gave Charles Barkley a mic.

Need more convincing? Then please digest the top five reasons this rule should be added:
1 – What podcast do you listen to for top gardening tips (from next door neighbor Ed)? Bill Simmons? Nope, you get down with dad! Plus there’s no vomit-inducing Boston sports blather in the Dadcast.
2 – Most of the time he does the podcast while grilling, so if you’re lucky enough to get a seat in the studio audience you’ll probably end up with a delicious hot dog.
3 – His generic cherubic sidekick is generally gassy, so you never know when you’ll get an on-air air biscuit. Breaking wind noise is funny!
4 – Dad knows his audience: the top segment on his Popcast is “a joke and a snack followed by 15 minutes of silence & napping.” Zzzzzzzz-larious!
5 – Dad has all the blue-chip sponsors: Mort’s Barbershop, Big Al’s Bait & Tackle and original Mountain Dew (the only good one) and will absolutely not accept any ED advertising.