Dad Rule: Dad Is The #1 Brewmaster On The Block

May 15, 2018

It’s time again to add a new rule to the Official Handbook of Dad. The patriarchal guide, created by the Founding Fathers and continuously updated by the top dads of the day, provides needed guidance and wisdom to dads everywhere.

Ponder carefully, this week’s proposal: Dad is the #1 Brewmaster on the block.

Cheers! Finally, we’ve entered the golden age of home brewing. A glorious era when every dude in skinny jeans thinks he can brew up an award-winning super-hopped triple IPA or citrus-noted amber ale in an old bourbon barrel.

And, to be fair, some of these pseudo-hipsters are churning out some passably pleasant if not pretentious potables. But if you want the best barley soup, wipe off your beer goggles and head over to Dad’s Pub. Located snugly in the basement, it’s the place all the best brewmasters hang out to learn true brewing enlightenment (and it has all those original neon beer signs from breweries long since departed. Olympia! Falstaff!).

While the hours certainly vary and the bouncer looks a lot like mom wearing a Motorhead t-shirt, the payoff is home-brewed dad suds that will knock your socks off. Dad beer, the perfect balance of IBUs, ABV and drinkability born from a man who made Milwaukee famous.

Need more convincing? Then please digest the top five reasons this rule should be added:
1 – His barley and hops game earned him the nickname “Sorcerer of Stouts” at beer school, even as his hoops and hops game on the hardwood earned him a spot on the bench next to coach.
2 – You are what you drink and dad’s been analyzing and drinking beer since the first Clydesdales got off the Mayflower at Ellis Island.
3 – Dad discovered some great prohibition-quality brewing recipes in Al Capone’s vault right before Geraldo opened it. Dad 1, Geraldo 0!
4 – Dad’s 3rd grade science project was a gold-medal winning IPA, much to the chagrin (yet later delight) of all the teachers.
5 – Dad has won enough malt medals, beer belts and certificates of suds-manship to fill a wing at the Smithsonian.