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Rumored Charcoal Shortage Has Nation’s Dads Freaking Out

As the football season gets into full swing, America’s dads and tailgating enthusiasts everywhere were stunned by reports that charcoal supplies have been dwindling since late 2016. “This is not fake news,” Dallas native Bob Benson told his son as they ran a red light on their way to the local hardware store. “Your Uncle

Rumored Charcoal Shortage Has Nation’s Dads Freaking Out
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Local Dad Wonders Why Everything Can’t Be Ranch-Flavored

What started out as a simple joke turned into a 10-minute lecture to friends and family when 43-year-old Mark Benson mused what the world would be like if more things were ranch-flavored. “I’m just saying it would solve all kinds of problems,” he said as he munched on another handful of HONCHOS organic tortilla chips.

Local Dad Wonders Why Everything Can’t Be Ranch-Flavored
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“I Can Fix This” Says Dad Inside Car That’s Currently On Fire

After what was described as a “love tap” by local dad Jason Anderson, the father of three continues to insist that he can “fix” the damage made to his Honda Civic, which currently is in flames. “I’ve dealt with worse,” Anderson was overheard saying as he told his family that “a little heat never hurt

“I Can Fix This” Says Dad Inside Car That’s Currently On Fire
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All Of Dad’s Smartphone Photos Are Blurry Somehow

Despite having recently purchased an iPhone 7 Plus, which features optical image stabilization to reduce motion and hand shake, 53-year-old father of two, Gary Smith, has somehow managed to have every single photo he has taken turn out blurry. Smith, who has snapped photos of family members, meals ordered at restaurant, and countless screenshots accidentally

All Of Dad’s Smartphone Photos Are Blurry Somehow
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Tragedy Strikes As Dad’s Grill Tongs Go Missing After BBQ

The entire city of Waukegan, Illinois has been shaken today by the news that local dad Garrett Anderson has lost his grill tongs after hosting a neighborhood barbecue. The 16-inch Winco UT-16HT Extra Heavyweight Utility Tongs, which sell for $8 on Amazon and ship in two days with Anderson’s Prime membership, had been in heavy use

Tragedy Strikes As Dad’s Grill Tongs Go Missing After BBQ