The entire city of Waukegan, Illinois has been shaken today by the news that local dad Garrett Anderson has lost his grill tongs after hosting a neighborhood barbecue. The 16-inch Winco UT-16HT Extra Heavyweight Utility Tongs, which sell for $8 on Amazon and ship in two days with Anderson’s Prime membership, had been in heavy use since the father of four received them as a Father’s Day present in 2014.
The tongs were often discussed with neighbors as being “pretty darn sturdy, as far as these things go.”
“I’m shocked,” said next door neighbor Brad Johnson. “Garrett loved those tongs, I’m amazed that something like this could happen. I mean, I’m not saying someone would have stolen it, but those are mighty fine tongs, and I don’t see old Garrett losing the pair on his own.”
Anderson made an announcement to those attending his barbecue that he “wasn’t pointing any fingers” but added “if someone, say, accidentally picked them up by mistake, you can return it now and there’ll be no hard feelings.” As of press time, the tongs still remain at large, though Anderson is holding out buying a new pair since “that’ll just mean the tong-taker won.”
Posted in Satire
He’s in his zone. pic.twitter.com/HV9lmP3Cx9
— Classic Dad Moves (@ClassicDadMoves) July 26, 2017