Jack Barrett, a 52-year-old Huntsville, Alabama father, has expressed adamant frustration with his neighbor, who has decided to “show everyone else up” by handing out full-sized candy bars to trick-or-treaters this year. “I mean, who does he think he is?” Barrett was heard venting. “Mr. Rockefeller over here is handing out whole Snickers and Milky
Oh no. Multiple sources indicate that Frank Williams, a 47-year-old father of three from Austin, Texas, has taken out his guitar, and appears like he might start playing something any minute now. These sources, who are understandably terrified, claim that, oh God, yeah, he’s definitely about to start playing. Christ, he’s even tuning the guitar!
A recent investigation into fatherly fashion trends has uncovered a shocking statistic: 96% of America’s dads received the memo regarding blue jeans and white sneakers as the optimal clothing combination. “What’s most surprising is that memos are very difficult to distribute. If it was an email, sure. But we’re talking about getting a printed piece
“And it tasted fine,” he said afterward. “Sure, I got a little rumble in my stomach, but that was probably from the beers I had last night.” According to Dan Benson, 45, the lunchmeat “was still good,” and would’ve been for another couple weeks. “Everybody is so wimpy these days. Don’t eat turkey past the
Elliot Nathans, a 49-year-old father of three from Columbus, Ohio, has recently revealed that he has some “strong opinions” about the newer menu items at his local Chili’s Bar and Grill. “Listen, you know I love Chili’s,” Nathans told his family as well as the waitress at the Festival Center location of the tex-mex casual
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