35-year-old Jake Benson of Austin, Texas recently slept for 3 hours and 8 minutes, which is the longest stretch of sleep he’s had since his son Jasper was born nearly a month ago. “I feel like I can conquer the world!” Benson exclaimed, upon waking up and checking his watch. “Seriously, I am good for

Reports from Naperville, Illinois indicate that local dad Thomas Johnson is planning to go to a nearby Home Depot in order to, in his words, “buy, just, so much mulch.” Johnson, who wants to get mulch “everywhere,” says he plans on getting as much mulch as he can possibly fit in his car for various

As Easter fast approaches, children across the nation are preparing for one of the more unheralded parts of the year—the beginning of stale Peeps season. This period of time, when multiple Peeps are left in opened containers and packages for a few days and change texture from soft to somewhat tougher and chewier, marks when

After carefully considering his options while surveying his meal, 31-year-old Dennis Jackson has decided that he, in fact, would like to put some more ketchup on that. “It was a tough decision to make,” Jackson admitted. “I mean, I already put some ketchup on it, you know? But the more I thought about it, the