In a futile effort to clear fallen leaves on his lawn, 38-year-old Oakwood, Ohio resident Kevin Sanders has spent the past two hours using his leaf blower to accomplish exactly nothing. “Dang it,” Sanders was overheard muttering to himself as he again failed to get any leaves to stay on the tarp he had laid

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, local father of two Nathan Pinkerton has begun strenuously training for the holiday by drinking and napping at any opportunity that presents itself. “I take my holidays very seriously, and Thanksgiving is probably the most important one in my book,” Pinkerton told reporters. “So of course I have to

Residents of Appleton, Wisconsin were shocked when they discovered that Janice Worrly, a local bank teller, was only handing out circus peanuts to trick-or-treaters this year. This monster, who passed on fun-sized snicker bars as well as most traditional Halloween candies, decided to only purchase a giant bag of sickly-orange marshmallow-based candies, much to the

According to multiple neighborhood sources, 45-year-old father of four Ken Stapleton has multiple plans to “scare just, so many trick-or-treaters” this Halloween. Stapleton, who has purchased several motion-sensing booby traps as well as a realistic scarecrow costume that he plans to use to startle children and teenagers alike, has always had a history of trying

In a remarkable feat of perseverance and grit, 25-year-old Sean Littleton shocked patrons and staff at Sixty-Seven Chinese Express by eating an entire order of fried rice, by himself, in one sitting. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” one customer remarked. “Like, when he ordered that fried rice, I assumed he’d do what we all