According to multiple neighborhood sources, 45-year-old father of four Ken Stapleton has multiple plans to “scare just, so many trick-or-treaters” this Halloween.
Stapleton, who has purchased several motion-sensing booby traps as well as a realistic scarecrow costume that he plans to use to startle children and teenagers alike, has always had a history of trying to scare trick-or-treaters every October 31st.
Last year, for example, he replaced his doorbell with a blood-curdling scream, and the year before he walked around town as a man holding his own head.
This year, however, Stapleton plans on putting out all the stops.
“Listen, I’ve got everything: a perfect hiding place to leap out of, dozens of speakers primed to make startling noises, I even hired an actor to chase kids with a chainsaw. This is going to be the best Halloween yet.”
Shortly after, the local police informed him that if he went through with his chainsaw plan, he would go to jail, at which point he decided to get his deposit back on the actor and use the money to buy a realistic-looking fake spider.