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Satire

Man Prepares To Use Exercise Bike For Only Time This Year

39-year-old Ted Barnes recently disappeared into the basement to spend 17 minutes on the exercise bike in his only attempt to get in better shape for the next 12 months. “I figure I’ll ride the bike 20, maybe 30 minutes every other day,” said Barnes, overestimating how many times he will exercise by about every

  • January 1, 2020
Man Prepares To Use Exercise Bike For Only Time This Year January 1, 2020
Satire

Dad Planning To Stay Up All The Way To 12:05 On NYE

In order to give 2019 a proper sendoff, local dad John Frazen has decided to go the extra mile and stay up all the way to five minutes past midnight. Frazen, who normally goes to bed before 10 p.m. in order to get up without an alarm at 4:30 a.m., has decided that he’s going

  • December 19, 2019
Dad Planning To Stay Up All The Way To 12:05 On NYE December 19, 2019
Satire

Local Dad Keeps Half-Empty Whiskey Bottle By His Santa Suit

While Berger stresses that he enjoys the look of holiday wonderment on his children's faces, he added that the suit smells, the beard itches, and the swig of whiskey does wonders to hide both those facts.

  • December 13, 2019
Local Dad Keeps Half-Empty Whiskey Bottle By His Santa Suit December 13, 2019
Satire

Candy Cane Kind of Gross, Reports Local Man

"I mean, it's got a lot of sugar and stuff, but it's just minty, and honestly I have yet to figure out a way to eat one where my hands don't get sticky."

  • December 5, 2019
Candy Cane Kind of Gross, Reports Local Man December 5, 2019
Satire

Breaking News: Green Bean Casserole All That’s Left

What started out as an epic feast of savory meats, delicious sides and decadent desserts has turned into a sad state of affairs, as the only item left in the fridge is Aunt Edna's green bean casserole.

  • November 29, 2019
Breaking News: Green Bean Casserole All That’s Left November 29, 2019
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