Satire

Your Bracket Losing To Someone That’s Never Watched Basketball

Much to your utter dismay, after months of meticulous research and game-film study, your NCAA bracket is currently losing to someone who has literally never watched a game of basketball in their life. While you thought heavily about what number 12 seeds would pull off an upset this year, and you even correctly predicted UC-Irvine’s

Your Bracket Losing To Someone That’s Never Watched Basketball
Satire

‘It’s Just A Broken Wrist,’ Says Dad Refusing To See Doctor

Several hours after accidentally smashing his arm in a car door and almost certainly breaking his wrist, 42-year-old man Jeremy Steffews has continued to ignore his family’s plea to see a doctor, saying it’s “no big deal.” “Listen, it’s just a broken wrist,” a clearly-in-pain Steffews claimed while holding the injured limb, which has already

‘It’s Just A Broken Wrist,’ Says Dad Refusing To See Doctor
Satire

‘It Wasn’t THAT Spicy’ Says Man Clearly In Extreme Agony

Shortly after taking a few bites of a dish called “Jungle Curry” at a local Taiwanese restaurant, 26-year-old Richard Watson insisted to his friends that the extra spicy dish “wasn’t that bad,” as beads of sweat began to form on his forehead. “No, it’s pretty good actually,” Watson panted as he clearly struggled to take

‘It Wasn’t THAT Spicy’ Says Man Clearly In Extreme Agony
Satire

Neighbors Nearly Get Into Fistfight Over Lawn Mowing Techniques

Tensions ran high this week as neighbors Brad Katz, 46, and Stewart Kendall, 53, found themselves in a heated exchange over proper lawn mowing techniques, at one point nearly coming to blows. The argument started with an innocent statement by Katz noting that Kendall was not using a mulch bag, even though it had rained

Neighbors Nearly Get Into Fistfight Over Lawn Mowing Techniques
Satire

Local Dad Still Can’t Pronounce ‘Chipotle’

Despite having eaten there at least once a month for the past eight years, local dad Jared Andrews, 53, is still unable to correctly pronounce the name of the fast casual eatery, Chipotle. “Oh yeah, I love Chip-attle,” Andrews was overheard recently as his nearby children visibly cringed. “It’s just so frustrating,” vented his oldest

Local Dad Still Can’t Pronounce ‘Chipotle’