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Jeff G

Satire

Local Dad Once Almost Saw AC/DC In College

49-year-old Brendan Howards once “almost” saw AC/DC perform in college, according to a story he has told dozens, if not hundreds, of times. “Yup, they were playing on campus my senior year,” Howards told reporters, reciting the details with polished familiarity. “I was like, who are these guys? I’d never heard of them, so I

  • March 6, 2020
Local Dad Once Almost Saw AC/DC In College March 6, 2020
Satire

Man Pretty Sure His Nephew Is Between 4 And 9 Years Old

According to multiple sources, 31-year-old Barry Jackson is “pretty sure” that his older brother’s grade-school-aged son is “definitely between the age of four and nine.” Jackson, who claims he’s generally pretty good at telling the age of children, said he’s very confident of this particular guess. “My brother mentioned that Tyler was in first grade

  • March 6, 2020
Man Pretty Sure His Nephew Is Between 4 And 9 Years Old March 6, 2020
Satire

Dad Hesitantly Agrees To Let Son Mow Lawn

After his son asked if he could mow the lawn as part of his weekly chores, local dad Ken Brandish hesitantly agreed, despite the fact that it would mean he would not be mowing the lawn nearly as much. “I mean, I want Johnny to grow and learn how to do the important things. But

  • February 27, 2020
Dad Hesitantly Agrees To Let Son Mow Lawn February 27, 2020
Satire

Local Man Will Only Eat Lettuce If It’s On A Burger

According to multiple sources, Chicago resident Craig Smothers refuses to eat lettuce, or any vegetable, with one caveat—if it is a topping on a juicy burger. Smothers, who describes his diet as, “Probably fine?” goes out of his way to avoid vegetables in all instances, though he has decided that he finds the crunch of

  • February 23, 2020
Local Man Will Only Eat Lettuce If It’s On A Burger February 23, 2020
Satire

15-Degree Day Deemed “Grilling Weather” By Dad

After a brief cold spell left local dad Ron Staller using the stove to prepare most of the family’s meals for four whole days, the 44-year-old St. Paul, Minnesota resident expressed relief when the outdoor temperature rose to 15 degrees, which Staller declared “grilling weather.” While admitting that an earlier day with a high of

  • February 13, 2020
15-Degree Day Deemed “Grilling Weather” By Dad February 13, 2020
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