Editor, Author at Classic Dad

Satire

Group Of Dads Fantasize About Pulling A Heist

Just two beers into their monthly night hanging out at the local bar, a group of dads began talking about “how cool” it would be to “pull a heist.” “Obviously, we would never do it, but man, wouldn’t it be awesome to rob a bank? Or like a casino or something?” asked 45-year-old Jake Denton.

February 11, 2019

Satire

Local Dad Pretty Sure Valentine’s Day Still Weeks Away

Lawrence, Kansas native Bill Benson isn’t worried about getting his wife a Valentine’s Day gift yet, as he believes the holiday is still weeks away. “I’ll worry about it over the weekend or maybe next week sometime,” he said Monday morning, not realizing he had less than four days to make up for last year’s

February 11, 2019

Satire

Man Disappointed In Son’s Lawn Mowing Skills

Dallas native Ken Benson expressed frustration and dismay after his 14-year-old son “practically ruined” the backyard with a bad mow. “I really thought I raised him better than this,” said Benson, motioning to the uneven lines. “Is it that hard to properly mow straight lines? I went over this with him multiple times before agreeing

February 3, 2019

Satire

Kid Knows Dad Will Eventually Break And Do The Chores For Him

Bobby Benson continued to play Fortnite recently, confident that his dad would eventually clean up the overflowing trash can in the kitchen. “Oh, he’ll get angry and say stuff like ‘no allowance this week’ but at some point he’ll just take out the garbage and shovel the walk,” said the 12-year-old. “It’s like his need

January 13, 2019

Classic Dad Lunchtime: Parking Lot Grilling With Kingsford

One of the nice things about being based in Austin is that there’s no shortage of great lunch options. From amazing Tex Mex to more food trailers than any city should rightly have, the Classic Dad team has our pick of ways to nourish ourselves during lunch before getting back to dad humor memes and

January 12, 2019