Graduation Advice My Dad Actually Gave Me Before College

June 8, 2017

It’s graduation season, which means dads everywhere are taking their children aside and giving one last “Big Speech” to them before they go off to college to completely ignore about 85% of the advice given to them by their dad.

When it came time for me to go to college, my dad did the same thing. He sat me down, in his bathrobe (classic dad move), and told me some little nuggets of advice. This was the “before you go off on your own, here’s what my dadly experience has taught me” speech that everyone gets at one point or another. Here is some of the advice from the speech I was given.

Always Make A Good First Impression

Not a bad sentiment, and pretty solid dad advice. First impressions are important, and not something you might think about as a high school graduate. But yeah, first impressions, make a good one, got it dad.

Put Yourself Out There To Make New Friends

Another very useful piece of advice. When you go off to college, you’re surrounded by people who you don’t know, but who can become lifelong friends. You just have to put yourself out there. Can’t be the kid who just stays locked up in his dorm room playing Overwatch, you gotta put yourself out there. Thanks dad, good advice.

Don’t Party Too Hard, Grades Are Important

Ugh, why you gotta get on my case like that dad? Though this was at least coupled with…

But Do Go to Parties, It’s An Important Part Of College

This kind of goes with the “make new friends” thing, but still, all dads want you to party. Unless you’re a daughter, in which case the idea of you dressing up and going to a college party is literally the scariest thing he can possibly imagine.

If You’re Going To Sleep With A Girl

Whoa wait what’s going on here dad…

Make Sure She’s Not Too Drunk

Slow down there dad what is going on here.

And Make Sure To Use A Condom

Oh God dad, this is so embarrassing please stop…

*Reaches Into Pocket, Hands Me Condoms*

*literally dies*

Yes, this really happened. Yes, I was mortified. And yes, if you are reading this as a recent high school graduate, there is a good chance your dad will do that to you too. Congratulations and good luck in college.