Dad’s Favorite Buildings And Other Well-Made Structures

August 14, 2018

Buildings! Statues! Edifices! Modern marvels! Majestic ancient constructs!

Without them, we wouldn’t have hundreds of hours of programming on History Channel, DIY Network or HGTV (along with ESPN, Animal Planet and Comedy Central). And we all know the answer to the question, “Wow! Who built that?” is always and inevitably, dad.

He’s 100% up to code. He has all the permits. He has a Home Depot credit card. More saving, more dadding! So here they are, in no particular order, dad’s top jobs well done:

1 – Wrigley Field & Fenway Park. If dad builds something, it stands the test of time, like these two baseball structures. You know how they blow up old stadiums for a new sterile super mall-like techno stadium? If they tried that with these two places the dynamite would cry and refuse to explode.
2 – Stonehenge. You can’t see evidence of it now, but when Stonehenge Dad built this place it originally had a McDonald’s and a 7-11 (the first such location of both franchises).
3 – Quintuple-triple decker super dad sandwich supreme. So large it requires scaffolding and a building permit. Only dad can keep such a structure stable long enough to eat.
4 – The tool shed. This is the surest sign of dad maturity. Finally, instead of having a workshop in the basement or using half the garage as a work area, dad has built the stand-alone fortress with room for any and every tool he’s going to need to build an even larger tool shed in a couple years.
5 – Alcatraz. The perfect Alca-dad structure, dad’s plan:
Phase one – The ultimate prison. Nobody got out (that Clint Eastwood movie ‘tis but a fairy tale).
Phase two – After retiring as the greatest prison in the world of all-time it transitioned into a top movie set. Who doesn’t love “The Rock” starring the great Sean Connery and Mr. Intensity Nic Cage.
6 – A couple of the Pyramids. The best ones, tremendous! Egyptian millennials built the Sphinx. Everybody likes Pyramids better than the Sphinx.
7 – The Statue of Liberty. A lovely gift from France, but who put it together when it got here (without instructions even)? Patriot Dad!