Dad’s 7 Favorite Hand Tools

July 25, 2018

Home improvement. What dad was born to do.

If he ever has to call a handyman, it means the house was probably hit with an ICBM or an event from the seemingly weekly “The Rock” disaster movie. Has he fought them all yet? When does “The Rock vs. A Tsunami” hit the theaters?

Anytime something goes wrong on the ranch, dad’s off to the Home Dad-pot. Dad + tools = problem solved.

And here they are, in no particular order, dad’s favorite tools:

1 – Claw Hammer. Only Thor is more magical with a hammer than dad. And not by much.
2 – Tape Measure. This sentence is six inches long.
3 – Level. For practical applications around the home as well as making sure the fresh new dad high and tight buzzcut is “on the level” *.
4 – Phillips Screwdriver. Dad can get twice the torque of the Flathead with half the effort. Elite efficiency!
5 – Flathead Screwdriver. Maybe not as useful as in the past thanks to the dominance of the Phillips, but it’s good for other things besides screws (scraping, light prying, nudging and, in dry climates, the occasional nose pick. It happens.).
6 – Crescent Wrench. Good ol’ reliable wrench. It looks the coolest hanging off the tool belt (grunting noise Tim Allen used to make on “Home Improvement”).
7 – Needle Nose Pliers. Basically the scalpel of the toolbox. With the precision of this fine tool, a few chunks of salvage metal and some makeshift Kyber Crystals, dad can build a fully operational Death Star.
*-Corny dad joke of the week. Enjoy!