Welcome to the Summer of Dad! Nothing screams summer louder than a little light outdoor semi-competitive physical activity.
And if dad is to break a sweat, here they are, in no particular order, his favorite ways to do it:
1 – Auto care biathlon. Washing and waxing the car in the driveway is the best excuse to take off the shirt and treat the neighborhood ladies to a dad bod show. Even the Russian judges give dad a 10.
2 – Playing catch with the kids. Teach them how to throw a slider and then ice the elbow in a beer cooler while drinking the beer from the very same cooler, what could be better?
3 – Fishing. Dad vs. sea. Or lake. Or inlet. Regardless, dad will hook that prize bass. With live bait of course.
4 – Uneven Hammock-ing. Dad is as nimble as a gymnast as he puts on a show that both inspires and relaxes (and he never spills a drop of delicious lemonade).
5 – Beer frisbee. Traditional rules: duelists separated by 25 yards of open street, 12 oz. can of beer placed in the center of the street and first shot wins. A sport that really needs to be on ESPN5.
6 – Rap Battling. Nobody drops rhymes like dad with his Yo! MTV Raps memories as well as his hard copy of a Webster’s Thesaurus. And, according to Fitbit, no genre of music burns more calories.
7 – Lawn darts. Are these over-sized flying pieces of potential plastic death dangerous? Probably, but dad has a lawn safety record of such stellar perfection you have a better chance of getting hit by lightning than injured playing a game with pop.
8 – Putt Putt Golf. Nothing like hitting the little links.
9 – Platform Cannonball Diving. Dad can make a splash that looks like a mushroom cloud and hits at least 90% of the sunbathers sitting too close to the pool. Blast radius!!!!!!