Winter Holidays, Ranked By Dads

December 26, 2017

As the thermostat is no doubt indicating, winter is upon us. And with winter comes a whole slew of holidays. But not all holidays are created equal. Here is a list of the winter holidays, as ranked by dads in reverse order.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day

The only holiday you will encounter in January, Martin Luther King Jr. Day doesn’t involve a lot, celebration-wise. It’s simply an important day when we remember a great man (and dad). There’s also about a 50% chance that your dad has the day off of work.

Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day should be a lovely romantic day for dads. But it is not. It is stressful. Dads spend most of February stressing about getting something for their wives on Valentine’s Day, and most of Valentine’s Day scrambling to get something because they totally forgot about getting something for their wives on Valentine’s Day.

Plus, no day off of work leaves you with a middling holiday for dads.

New Year’s Day

On one hand, dads don’t really relish having to stay up till midnight on New Year’s Eve. But, it comes with a day off of work, and motivates dads to go to the gym for the first two weeks of January before settling into their dad bodies.

Christmas

Christmas is a great holiday, full of gifts and family and festive music. It’s a scientific fact that all dads love Christmas carols more than anyone else out there. This truly is a top holiday for dads, but it’s not number one. That goes to…

Thanksgiving

Yes, Thanksgiving is the ultimate winter holiday for dads. Is it technically in fall? So what! It has everything a dad could ask for: family, good food, football, the expectation that they only have to stand up for like thirteen seconds the entire day. It’s truly the perfect holiday for a dad. Yes, Christmas is good. But Thanksgiving is king.