Best (And Worst) New Year’s Dad Jokes

December 24, 2017

New Year’s is a time for turning over a new leaf, getting a fresh start or, if you’re a dad, just recycling the same old jokes you used last year. With that in mind, here’s some choice New Year’s humor from all over the Internet.

Got better jokes? Send them our way on our Facebook page and maybe we’ll add to the list for next year.

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
My resolution was to read more, so I put the subtitles on my TV.
I remember last year like it was yesterday.
What is corn’s favorite holiday? New Ear’s Day!
This New Year’s, I resolve to be less awesome since that is the only thing I do in excess.
What did Steven like to be called on New Year’s Day? New Year’s Steve.
My wife still hasn’t told me what my New Year’s resolutions are.
New Year? I just got used to this last one!
What’s the problem with jogging on New Year’s Eve? The ice falls out of your drinks.
What kind of toilets do French people use on January 1st? New Year’s Bidet.
My New Year’s resolution is 1080p.
What do you tell someone you didn’t see at New Year’s Eve? I haven’t seen you for a year!
My New Year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.