After four weeks of Fantasy Football action, let’s take a moment to check in on how your dad’s team is doing.
Dad’s Team Name
Suh Fast Suh Serious
8 team snake draft (family league)
Best Waiver Wire Additions
Matt Forte in week 3 (he thinks he’s still on the Bears)
Tyrod Taylor in week 2
Worst Waiver Wire Additions
Blair Walsh in week 2
Kai Forbath in week 4
Literally every D/ST he tried to get
Kirk Cousins (drafted 2nd round)
Amount of Puns Made On Message Board
Texts Per Week Asking You Who He Should Start This Week
Dad has had a tough time, with a few close losses and one blowout. Naturally, the injury to Johnson really hurt his chances, but he didn’t help matters by drafting a quarterback in the first round, a kicker in the fourth, and forgetting to draft a tight end, leaving him to rely on Jared Cook in that position, who he dropped after Mercedes Lewis pulled in 3 touchdowns in week 3 (your dad started Lewis in week 4, when he had no receptions).
He has been trying to improve the team through trades, though all of his trades have been absurdly one-sided. Most recently, he tried to get Kareem Hunt by offering Ben Roethlisberger, Giovani Bernard, and the Panthers Defense/Special Teams, and he keeps offering Julio Jones for Todd Gurley and another player, as if it’s the specific second player that is the reason why the trade keeps getting rejected.
3-10, missing playoffs for a fourth year in a row.