7 Sports Men Only Take Up When They Become Dads

August 28, 2017

Dads, like most of us, like to keep active. This generally involves taking up some sort of sport, but the sports that someone might seek out in their teens or 20s are very different than Dad Sports. In fact, there are some sports that most people tend to ignore completely…until the moment they become a dad, at which point they are magically interested in them.

These are those sports.

Jogging In 5ks

90% of 5K race participants fall into one of two categories. They are either a woman between the age of 25 and 32, or they are a dad. There are some outliers, of course, but it’s mostly those two categories. The moment a casual jogger becomes a dad, a switch flips in his head, and suddenly he wants nothing more than to wake up at 6AM on a Saturday to run for 24 minutes surrounded by strangers. Granted, he also forces his kids get up at 6AM to cheer him on, so maybe that’s the real reason behind it.

Bocce Balls

When you say the words “bocce balls” you hear two responses. Non-dads say, “huh?” (or they giggle at the word “balls”) while dads go, “Oh, you want to play? Okay great, one second, let me get the set out of the garage.” We can’t confirm this, but we’re fairly confident that when a child is born, the hospital gifts the family a blanket for the baby and a bocce ball set for the dad.

Hiking

If you’re not a dad, hiking is basically dressed-up outdoor walking. It’s walking around for a few hours on a forest path, realizing two miles in that you wore the wrong shoes. Dads, however, definitely have two walking sticks they use so they can really truck it during their three-hour Sunday hike that they deceptively sold to the family as a “picnic.”

Fishing

Dads love fishing for the same reason their kids hate it. It’s a long period of time with nothing but peace and quiet. Being a dad can be pretty loud and hectic, so sitting back, cracking a few beers, and sitting for hours in a dingy boat hoping you trick a fish to bite onto pointy metal so you can gut it open and feed it to your family is the perfect relaxing use of time for a dad. Ever gone to a bait shop? It’s all dads on vacations and like, one kid trying to get a last minute Father’s Day present.

Cycling

Every 10K road race filled with spandex-clad riders is comprised of, roughly 115% dads. This is scientific data, from the census.*

*We made it up but that sounds pretty right.

Tennis

Somehow, every dad teaches his sons to play tennis, but no one actually plays tennis until they become a dad. It’s a strange, never-ending cycle that explains how tennis has persevered as a sport all these many years. But, it can’t claim to be the ultimate dad sport. That title belongs to…

Golf

Of course the top dad sport is going to be golf. No one cares about golf until they become a dad, and then it’s the only thing they can think about. “Maybe I have some time after work, before I get home, to hit the links.” “Oh, we had plans this Sunday? Me and the boys really wanted to hit the links.” “I am actively watching and paying attention to the British Open on TV for the majority of my Saturday.” All these are things that are said often, and exclusively by dads. You can play golf if you’re not a dad, but you won’t want to until the second you become one.