LaVar Ball, the father of Lakers draft pick Lonzo Ball and builder of the Big Baller Brand whatever-you-want-to-call-it, is a pretty decisive figure. Some people think he’s an obnoxious sports dad who needs to shut up and go away, while others feel that he is merely the most obnoxious sports dad who needs to shut up and go away. Either way, he has managed to insert himself into public discourse unlike any sports father ever, which leads us to ponder one big question.
Is LaVar Ball the most annoying sports dad of all time?
It’s both a simple and complicated question. Admittedly, he does seem to care about his children, which is an admirable dad quality. As far as we can tell, his kids don’t seem to mind his obnoxious dadness, pretty much responding to his bluster with the typical “oh, dad” eyeroll all children give their dads. So it’s not like he’s a bad dad, and he has done a lot to ensure his children have success in life.
But he is an annoying dad. Oh God, is he annoying. Here are some choice LaVar Ball quotes.
“I’ll tell you right now, [Lonzo] is better than Steph Curry right now.”
“Yeah we work out on Christmas. Christmas is all day.”
“Back in my heyday, I would kill Michael Jordan one-on-one.”
These sentences in order are (a) a dad bragging about his son, (b) a dad being kind of dickish to his kids regarding holidays and (c) the embarrassing ramblings of an egotistic liar. They are peak sports dad, and peak obnoxious sports dad. Every one of those sentences makes you want to grab a fistful of hair and shout, “Ugh, LaVar, you are so annoying.”
So is he the most annoying sports dad?
Well, first let’s look at the competition. Tom Brady Sr. wouldn’t shut up about DeflateGate, which was something that no one wanted more people chirping about. Archie Manning gave us the whole Manning brothers era. Jim Pierce, the father of tennis player Mary Pierce, once got kicked out of the French Open for punching a dude.
But no, LaVar Ball is definitely the most annoying sports dad of all time. And it’s not even close.