The Most Rascally Baby Behaviors Dads Need To Fear

June 8, 2017

Babies are typically regarded as the most adorable members of the family, but that’s not always the case. As cute as they may seem, some babies have been born with a bit of a mean streak that dads need to be aware of. Here are some tiny terror behaviors to fear from your little bundle of joy.

Bronze Medal: Shutter Shock

She didn't like the noise that the shutter made after the first picture.

This adorable, little starlet in training already has the whole “annoyed by paparazzi” thing down. Deciding to capture an image of this sweet little flower child, our photographer suddenly discovered that this baby girl hates the sound that the shutter made during the first picture. Now instead of a fearful cry or a pouty baby lip, this child replied to shutter-bugging with the toughest of stink-faces this side of the nursery.

One can only assume that the first picture in this series was “adorable little princess,” followed by the above pic and then ended with a broken camera that was destroyed by a rattle.

Silver Medal: There Can Be Only One

Image result for baby cries at night

A recent study suggests that there might be a more self-serving motive behind why babies cry in the middle of the night. It may turn out that your newborn…doesn’t want you to get any. That’s right, your infant might be the worst wingman of all time.

The idea here is that babies are actively trying to prevent their mother from getting pregnant again by perpetually ruining the mood. Evolution has caused babies who do not have to share resources with the greatest odds of survival and therefore, cock-blocking has become a Darwinian skill. So the next time your wife is too tired for sex because of the new baby, just know she might be playing right into their little hands.

Gold Medal: Pucker-Up, Pop

Normally, dads expect that they’ll have to wait till their son becomes a teenager before he tells him to kiss his ass. Well, meet mischievousness’s newest prodigy.

This little stinker decided that words alone won’t do. He decides to prove that he is the baby equivalent of Bugs Bunny in this metaphorical “Duck Season/Rabbit Season” game between Father and Son. Just imagine the prankster this kid is going to be when he does grow up. So be wary, it’s clear that society’s most Bart Simpson-esque nightmare has been born. Be afraid.