Why You Never Want To Do Shots With Your Dad

March 27, 2017

When you get old enough to drink (or maybe when you’re just a few years before that point, but you’re drinking anyway), there’s something special about bonding with your dad over a beer. It makes you feel more adult, and it lets you see a different side of your dad, where he’s more of a “buddy” and a dad, and you can talk about things you might not otherwise discuss.

In fact, an important part of fatherhood consists of cracking open a brew and sharing one with his kids, when they’re old enough to know not to tell mom about it.

But I’m here to tell you today that as good as having a beer with your dad is, having a shot with him is the opposite of that. Do not do shots with your dad. It will ruin everything.

When you have a beer with your dad, it’s a relaxing, grown-up activity. Taking shots is what you do when you want to get crazy with the night, which is an awesome thing to do, but it’s also something that you do when you want to get crazy with the night and do things that your dad absolutely does not want to think about.

Taking a shot with dad leads to statements like, “hoo boy, brings me back to my college days” or “you sure did down that without flinching, you been practicing?”

You drink a beer to sit and philosophize. You take a shot to get drunk and maybe do that face where you’re trying not to puke but are just barely hanging on. One of those works great in a “father-child-bonding” setting. The other one, not so much.

And here’s the real elephant in the room.

Shots not only get you drunker, faster, but they usually get you a different kind of drunk. Maybe a bit more fighty. Definitely more loud and obnoxious. You’ve seen dad at various stages of beer and wine drunk over the years, but do you really want to see him shot drunk? Probably not. And do you want him to see you get shot drunk? Hell no! You don’t want your dad to know how you are when you go out, and he sure as hell doesn’t want to know.

So as tempting as it might be to get a good “yo I ripped a bunch of shots with my dad one time” story, trust me. You don’t want to have to deal with the side effects. Just stick to a good old-fashioned beer, and call it a day.