Ten 80’s Hair Metal Bands Your Dad Still Likes

January 7, 2017

Your dad still likes Hair Metal, and he doesn’t even try to hide it. Everything ridiculous about the genre is embraced by every dad out there, from the hair to the outfits to the HAIR and the OUTFITS. Here are ten bands that your dad is bound to subject you to on his driving playlist.

BON JOVI
The biggest crossover hit between “Dad’s hair metal” and “songs you sing along to at bars” has to be Bon Jovi. Not only is “Living on a Prayer” the ultimate “I’m drunk and white” tune out there, but they managed to stay relevant way past the 80s. Remember “It’s My Life?”

WARRANT
Warrant’s hey-day was a bit late for your dad’s 80’s hair metal peak –they founded in 1984, but didn’t really find fame until 1989. From 1989 to 1996 they were huge, but also a last gasp of hair metal popularity. So they might not be your dad’s favorite, but he still likes what they’re working with.

POISON
Your dad knows Poison from the five years he was literally obsessed with them. You know them through “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” a general awareness of the existence of Bret Michaels, and that one Simpsons joke with the band “Cyanide, a loving tribute to Poison.”

CINDERELLA
Cinderella is the band that makes your dad say things like “Night Songs was pretty huge, but Long Cold Winter is where they really found their sound.” But if you really want to freak your dad out, show him this commercial they did for Pats Chili Dogs in the early 80’s, which is the funniest thing we’ve seen all day.

KISS
Listen, if we need to explain this entry with you, you probably don’t have a dad who has ever listened to music in his life.

DEF LEPPARD
Your dad still has a CD copy of High n’ Dry. Like, he purchased it in the early 2000s, for his car, and you vaguely remember having to hear it growing up. The same goes with Hysteria (which Rolling Stone says is the best hair metal album of all time). It’s not a bad thing, just a very dad thing.

QUIET RIOT
The next time your dad gives you a hard time for the lyrics in the music you like, remind him that he still listens to a band whose breakthrough hit was called “Cum On Feel the Noise.”

TWISTED SISTER
True story –Dee Snider wrote a theater show that involves using Twisted Sister songs, only making them about Christmas. Another true story, if your dad lives in Chicago (where it was performed, by Snider) then he absolutely bought tickets to see it.

MOTLEY CRUE
While your dad knows Motley Crue as, well, Motley Crue, if we’re being honest here, you’re probably more familiar with Tommy Lee because of a little tape he recorded with Pamela Anderson, or maybe you saw Vince Neil in The Surreal Life and was like “what’s a Motley Crue?”

GUNS N’ ROSES
More than any band, though, your dad is listening to Guns N’ Roses. There’s even a very real chance that he bought a copy of Chinese Democracy, knowing full well that the album was a dud. That’s how deep a dad’s love of Guns N’ Roses runs. Guns N’ Roses are now, and will forever be, the ultimate Dad Hair Metal Band.