We’re sorry you got roped into this, but you’d better find a bench or something to sit on. Hopefully your phone is charged. You’re going to be here for a while.
Getting a dad to leave a hardware store in less than two hours is physically impossible. You might as well tell him not to think puns are funny, or to not say awkward things about the girl you had a crush on in high school. You might not think that a person could have a 30-minute conversation about a socket wrench, but dads have conversation stamina like you wouldn’t believe.
On the plus side, after the hardware store, you’ll at least get to go to the liquor store with him, where he’ll just grab a case of Bud Light and let you pick out “a few packs of those craft beers you like so much.”