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Dad’s Thanksgiving Day: A Timeline

  • November 21, 2016

DINNER


foodtable

5:00 — Dad finishes carving the turkey and everyone is ready to eat. There is a 75% chance that he will say grace, and a 15% chance that he’ll say grace by just saying the word “Grace” and then starting to eat.

5:15 — Dad has switched from beer to wine, and is starting to sound buzzed.

5:30 — Dad has made 5 dad jokes by this point.

5:35 — Dad realizes he has forgotten to thank everyone who did the actual cooking, does so in an overenthusiastic manner.

5:45 — Dad loudly inquires about “the pie situation.” Gets three slices of pie.

6:00 — Dad tells you and everyone under the age of 35 to help clear the table. He views this as his contribution to the cleanup process.


Continue: POST MEAL
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