Dad’s Thanksgiving Day: A Timeline
DINNER
5:00 — Dad finishes carving the turkey and everyone is ready to eat. There is a 75% chance that he will say grace, and a 15% chance that he’ll say grace by just saying the word “Grace” and then starting to eat.
5:15 — Dad has switched from beer to wine, and is starting to sound buzzed.
5:30 — Dad has made 5 dad jokes by this point.
5:35 — Dad realizes he has forgotten to thank everyone who did the actual cooking, does so in an overenthusiastic manner.
5:45 — Dad loudly inquires about “the pie situation.” Gets three slices of pie.
6:00 — Dad tells you and everyone under the age of 35 to help clear the table. He views this as his contribution to the cleanup process.
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