Dad’s Thanksgiving Day: A Timeline
MORNING
5:45 — Dad wakes up to go for a morning jog. He will mention this later in the day constantly. “Oh, that smells good. Good thing I went for a run this morning to make room for that later.”
6:45 — Dad will now sit down with a cup of coffee to read the newspaper while watching cable news by himself and mumbling something angrily every time there is a pundit who has a different political viewpoint than he does.
9:00 — Dad will wake you up, incorrectly assuming that you’d want to be up to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade
10:00-11:00 — Dad is in the shed or garage for some reason. Everyone knows better than to go in and ask.
11:30 — Guests arrive. Dad offers bottles of his home brews to everyone, waiting for someone to take him up on his offer before starting to drink.
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