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Things Dads Say When They Don’t Know How To Fix Something

  • October 18, 2016

When something breaks, it is a dad’s job, nay, obligation to fix it. Dads only have nightmares about two things: their teenage daughters dating, and being unable to fix something that’s broken in the house.

As a general rule, dads are genies able to fix anything on command. But that’s not always the case. If you hear the following phrases come out of your dad’s mouth, you’ll know that dad can’t help you this time.

“Please, I’ve done this plenty of times before!”

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He has done it exactly zero times before, and he’s waiting for you to turn around so he can look up instructions on his phone.

“Oh, there’s the problem right there.”

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He has no idea what the problem is or where it may be located.

“See, if this were actually made in AMERICA we wouldn’t have this problem.”

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You definitely know your dad is lost if he’s working on something that actually was made in America.

“Ah, dang it.”

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You know you’re in really bad shape when the mild D-word gets dropped. If you hear an “ah, dang it,” dad either is completely lost, or he just cut off a finger. Possibly both.

“Hmm, looks like these are the wrong kind of screws. I’ll have to table this until I get a chance to swing by the hardware store.”

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Your dad is just using this as an excuse to go to the hardware store now. That’s all he wanted to do today anyway. Nothing’s getting fixed, sorry.

Trick Question, Dads Can Fix Everything

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Okay, chances are you’ll never hear any of these phrases. Because, like we said, dads are genies able to fix anything. So you probably will never hear any of these phrases. Unless it’s “oh dang it.”

At that point, call 911, because your dad definitely just hacked off a thumb.


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