Getting A Kegerator For Your Man Cave Is A Bad Idea

October 1, 2016

When any dad is daydreaming about his ideal Man Cave set up, there are three things that always come to mind. The ideal Man Cave has to have:

1. Big screen TV

2. Comfortable af recliner, preferably a La-Z-Boy

3. Kegerator

But I am here to tell you that, in fact, you do not want a kegerator. A kegerator to a Man Cave is exactly like a puppy to your child — it sounds like the most wonderful idea ever, but after a few months you start to resent how much you have to take care of it.

Yes, a kegerator seems like a dream. Draft beer, whenever you want it! That satisfying woooosh of the perfect pour! No having to get up from your La-Z-Boy (see item #2 above) to the fridge like some sort of plebeian, no, you can get up from your La-Z-Boy (see item from earlier in this sentence) to a kegerator like a king!

However, owning a kegerator results in issues that you haven’t considered. Before you go on craigslist and “up your beer game” consider the following.

Cleaning

You will have to clean a kegerator. Trust me when I say this is much more effort than you are thinking. There are tubes and shit. It’s going to be a mess.

Keg Supply Means A LOT Of One Kind of Beer

Most kegerators are going to require you constantly having a pony keg on the ready, which still holds about 80 beers worth of precious alcohol. That’s something to keep in mind.

The Keg Will Always Run Out At The Worst Time

There will not be nearly enough warning that your keg is about to run out until it’s too late. So you’re going to be either lifting up the keg each time you use it like some sort of paranoid alcoholic, or you’re gonna get that dreaded foam fizzle right as the game is about to start.

Getting A Keg Is A Pain In The Ass

When you go to the liquor store to grab a 24-pack of beer, it’s an easy transaction. You’re in, you’re out, no problem. Kegs require you talking to an employee, putting down a deposit, and lugging a freaking heavy canister of liquid-filled-metal each time you want to re-up your beer stock.

You Will Get Tired Of Having Keg Beer

Keg beer means having to stock and clean glasses, and after a while you’re going to miss having a can or a bottle of beer to drink. It might sound jaded, but after a few months, the magic of having a kegerator will wear off, and it will just be a forgotten relic in the corner of your basement.

There is one kind of person who should have a kegerator, and that is the serious homebrewer. For you, a kegerator actually is much easier than bottling your beer, so none of these rules apply. Well, except for the cleaning thing. Man, cleaning those things is a pain in the ass.