*Order a White Russian
You: You know the fastest liquid on Earth?
Milk – because it’s pasteurized before most people even see it!
*See someone texting:
You: If you’re texting “fuck” and it autocorrects to “duck” it’s okay to keep it…It’s still FOWL language.
*Bring a ruler, blatantly put it up to people:
Person: What are you doing?
You: Measuring your patience…