6 Souped-Up Recliners Your Dad Would Trade You For

December 22, 2016

A dad’s recliner is his throne, and while it’s already a luxury purchase, let’s take a look at some high-end, crazy recliners that’ll break the bank, assuming your dad doesn’t sell you into slavery to get it instead.

ZeroG 5.0 Premium Full Body Zero-Gravity Massage Chair
$2,999 on Amazon

Massage chairs might be a bit limited as far as recliners go. Always having to stick your shins in those weird calf-massage holes is a pain. But, still, there’s something about getting a FOREVER massage while relaxing and drinking a beer, blissfully ignoring the fact that if you spill your beer bad enough, you could short out the massage function and leave yourself with a $3,000 chair that’s got holes where your feet go.

Barcalounger Presidential II Leather Manual Recliner
$999 on Amazon

Oh shit, look how fancy that is. It even says “Presidential” in its name!

This might not be the most comfortable reclining chair, but it looks like something a grandpa would smoke a cigar in, and it’s guaranteed that if your dad shells out for this, every time someone new comes to the house, he’ll sit in it and go, “Nice chair, right?” and then yank on the lever to see their looks of mild shock when they realize that the fancy smoking chair is in fact a recliner. “Gets ’em every time!”

Human Touch ‘AcuTouch 9500x’ Premium Leather Full-Body Massage Chair Recliner
$4,400 (after $1,100 discount) on Amazon

Hurry, there are only eight left! The only downside is that, if you have a particularly husky dad, this chair’s weight capacity cuts off at 285.

Can you imagine some former football player buying this chair for four grand and then having it break apart the moment he sits in it? I know I’d be pissed.

COZZIA MC520-FBN01 Power Lift Mobility Recliner
$1,999 on Amazon

Sure, two grand is pricy for a chair, but this automatically reclines and can lift up from the ground to literally slide you off it. You don’t need to even stand up on your own anymore. The chair has literally got your back.

Signature Design by Ashley U7590182 Paron Collection Oversized Power Recliner
$1,000 on Amazon

Look how wide that thing is! That’s a chair that dad secretly loves sitting in because he knows that you could easily fit a second person on it, but it’s all for him. All for dad!

Plus, it’s all antique and fancy looking, which makes dad feel really refined when he’s telling NFL refs to “choke on my dick” after missing a call.

Motorized La-Z-Boy
Auctioned for $10,099

Photo by nydailynews.com

Yes, a recliner you can drive. This was unfortunately a one of a kind item, but the dad who made this purchase has to have been happy with his decision.

And yes, it was sold because the previous owner got arrested for a DUI while driving it. On second thought, maybe this isn’t the best chair to get dad.