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Satire

Dad Claims He Knows Every Costco “Pricing Secret”

McHenry, Illinois father-of-three Jeremy Stringer has recently made numerous claims that he knows “all the pricing secrets” for saving money while shopping at Costco. “Don’t ask how I know,” Stringer told reporters. “But I know all the secrets. Here’s just a taste—when the price ends in .79? You’re getting a good deal. And don’t get

  • July 10, 2020
Dad Claims He Knows Every Costco “Pricing Secret” July 10, 2020
Satire

Of Course Local Dad Has Seen New Will Ferrell Movie

When asked if he had seen the new Netflix release, Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga, local dad Sam Andrews responded with, “Of course. You mean the new Will Ferrell movie? The one with the songs, on Netflix? Yeah, of course I saw it.” Andrews continued, “Listen, if I see that there’s gonna

  • July 6, 2020
Of Course Local Dad Has Seen New Will Ferrell Movie July 6, 2020
Satire

Dad Buys Fireworks From “Don’t Worry About It, I Know A Guy”

With the Fourth of July just around the corner, local dad and pyrotechnics aficionado Robert Francis has purchased an impressive array of fireworks from a “reputable” seller who Francis has identified as, “Don’t worry about it, I know a guy.” Francis, who lives in Illinois, which highly regulates the sale of fireworks, but also borders

  • July 1, 2020
Dad Buys Fireworks From “Don’t Worry About It, I Know A Guy” July 1, 2020
Satire

Dad Now Buying 4 Bags of Charcoal On Every Grocery Run

Through a combination of ensuring he is appropriately “stocked up” as well as a sharp increase in his weekly grilling, local father of three George Walsh has taken to purchasing four bags of charcoal every time he goes on his weekly grocery store run. “Well, you know, I figure it’s better to be safe than

  • June 25, 2020
Dad Now Buying 4 Bags of Charcoal On Every Grocery Run June 25, 2020
Satire

Dad Walking The Dog 4 Times A Day Now

While still working from home, local dad Chris Taper has reportedly begun walking his dog upwards of four times a day as an excuse to leave the house. Taper, who previously had given his children the chore of dog walking, has been spending more than three hours a day walking his Golden Retriever, Jackson, to

  • June 12, 2020
Dad Walking The Dog 4 Times A Day Now June 12, 2020
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