Satire

Distraught Dad Rushes Broken Lawn Mower To Mechanic For Emergency Repairs

Tragedy has struck a local father as his lawnmower suddenly broke down in such a way that he was unable to repair it on his own. Witnesses report watching John Gillington, 53, pick up the mower and sprint down to the nearest mechanic in hopes that he could save his Honda HRX217K5VKA lawnmower, which retailed

Distraught Dad Rushes Broken Lawn Mower To Mechanic For Emergency Repairs
Satire

‘I’ve Done This A Hundred Times’ Says Dad That’s Never Done This

While huddled over something that has never been broken in the house before, local father Jacob Anderson was overheard telling his family, “Don’t worry, I’ve done this a hundred times.” His family immediately took a step back, knowing that Anderson had, in fact, never done what he was attempting, and definitely didn’t have any clue

‘I’ve Done This A Hundred Times’ Says Dad That’s Never Done This
Satire

Dad Winks As He Promises Not To Eat Candy Meant For Trick-Or-Treaters

After his wife purchased roughly 20 pounds worth of candy for the express purpose of handing it out to trick-or-treaters, father-of-two Harold Atkins promised that he would not eat any of the candy unless there were leftovers after Halloween. He emphasized this point by winking in a very exaggerated fashion. When accused by his wife

Dad Winks As He Promises Not To Eat Candy Meant For Trick-Or-Treaters
Satire

Dad Still Thinks Teens Are Listening To Backstreet Boys

In news that continues to baffle his family, local dad Greg Butler is so out of date with today’s Top 40 music that he still thinks teenagers listen exclusively to boy bands — the Backstreet Boys specifically. Despite the fact that the band has not had a number one song since 1999, Butler is convinced

Dad Still Thinks Teens Are Listening To Backstreet Boys
Satire

Neighborhood In Turmoil After Dad Uses The Term “Woke”

Residents of New Bern, North Carolina were in turmoil today after neighborhood dad, Richard Spears, was overheard using the term “woke” in a conversation. Spears, who is 54 and had to look up the term on urbandictionary.com last week, sent shockwaves through the community when he was heard saying, “Of course I know who Cardi

Neighborhood In Turmoil After Dad Uses The Term “Woke”