Satire

Dad Awards Self Gold Medal In The Winter Beerathlon

After returning from a bar, where he watched several hours of the Olympics on Tuesday night, local dad and craft brewer Neil Park announced to his family that he would be awarding himself the gold medal in the beerathlon, an event he had just made up and which had no competitors. “Honey, kids, congratulate your

Dad Awards Self Gold Medal In The Winter Beerathlon
Satire

Fire Department On Standby As Dad Attempts To Bake Something

The Bradenton, Florida fire department has been placed on high alert after an anonymous phone call informed them that Andrew Quiggley, a local 49-year-old father, was going to try to bake something to impress his wife in celebration of their 20-year anniversary. Bradenton fire chief Arthur Sprint confirmed that the department was on high alert,

Fire Department On Standby As Dad Attempts To Bake Something
Satire

Dad Pretends To Understand Rules Of Olympic Curling

Nebraska native John Benson recently shouted “You call that curling?!” at the TV while watching the 2018 Winter Olympics, despite having no idea how the sport actually works. “Oh, c’mon even I could make that shot,” Benson complained, before calling the stone a “puck” and referring to the players sweeping the ice as “defenders.” Benson

Dad Pretends To Understand Rules Of Olympic Curling
Satire

“You Make A Better Door Than A Window,” Dad Tells Family Dog

While watching a Wizards game last week, Rockville, Maryland resident and father-of-three Jim Andrews was overheard shouting at his Labrador Retriever, Sparky, that he, “Makes a better door than a window.” “Dang it, Sparky, down. I’m trying to watch the game! You make a better door than a window,” Andrews said, completely aware of the

“You Make A Better Door Than A Window,” Dad Tells Family Dog
Satire

Dad Buys Chocolates To Forget To Give Wife On Valentine’s Day

Promising to avoid disaster like previous years, 45-year-old father-of-two Andrew Anderson has preemptively purchased a box of chocolates, setting it aside so that he can give it to his wife, Stacy, on Valentine’s Day, which he will inevitably forget about on February 14th. The chocolates, which he made sure included his wife’s favorites, were a

Dad Buys Chocolates To Forget To Give Wife On Valentine’s Day