Satire

Dad Breaks 28 Traffic Laws Trying To Beat Google’s Estimated Arrival Time

In an effort to “show that Siri who’s boss,” local dad Patrick Lennon was seen driving home from work incredibly recklessly in order to beat the estimated arrival time provided by Google Maps. Lennon successfully arrived home at 5:32 PM, despite Google Map’s original estimated arrival time of 5:34 PM. To do so, he rolled

Dad Breaks 28 Traffic Laws Trying To Beat Google’s Estimated Arrival Time
Satire

Dad Forgets Anniversary, Tries To Blame Daylight Saving Time

Despite Daylight Saving Time occurring nearly a week ago, and only affecting a single hour of a single day, local father-of-three Zach Prentice has tried, so far unsuccessfully, to blame the fact that he missed his 19-year anniversary due to clocks jumping forward by one hour at 2AM last Sunday. Prentice, who did not secure

Dad Forgets Anniversary, Tries To Blame Daylight Saving Time
Satire

Local Dad Still Using Ask Jeeves For Internet Searches

Reports have surfaced indicating that Greg Lee, the 47-year-old father-of-two from Waukegan, Illinois, is still using Ask Jeeves, since re-branded as “Ask.com” as his primary search engine. Lee, who has used the service since it first debuted in 1996, claims that he prefers Ask Jeeves to its competitors, claiming he “doesn’t trust” Google to carry

Local Dad Still Using Ask Jeeves For Internet Searches
Satire

Family Braces Itself As Local Dad Buys A St. Paddy’s Day Costume

Despite promising “not to get too crazy” during St. Patrick’s Day this year, local father-of-three Richard Benson has come home with a brand new, outlandish St. Paddy’s day costume, much to his family’s dismay. “It’s really bad,” reports 14-year-old daughter Hailee. “Like, there’s a green top hat, and a green vest, and a green tie,

Family Braces Itself As Local Dad Buys A St. Paddy’s Day Costume
Satire

Dad Still Boycotting Oscars Ever Since Die Hard Robbed In ’89

Bill Benson once again is refusing to watch the Academy Awards, protesting “the greatest snub in the history of the Oscars,” when Die Hard not only didn’t win Best Picture, but wasn’t even nominated. “I don’t care if it was like 30 years ago,” said Benson, 48, who remembers watching the film just after high

Dad Still Boycotting Oscars Ever Since Die Hard Robbed In ’89