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Local Monster Only Giving Out Circus Peanuts For Halloween

  • October 17, 2019

Residents of Appleton, Wisconsin were shocked when they discovered that Janice Worrly, a local bank teller, was only handing out circus peanuts to trick-or-treaters this year.

This monster, who passed on fun-sized snicker bars as well as most traditional Halloween candies, decided to only purchase a giant bag of sickly-orange marshmallow-based candies, much to the dismay of children and adults alike.

“What sort of person would do this?” Worrly’s neighbor asked. “I mean, I get that it can be a bit of a hassle to buy candy for Halloween, but most stores sell at least Skittles or Three Musketeers. Where do you even get circus peanuts? I think she had to order them online!”

Worrly defended her devious decision.

“I don’t see why people are so upset. I always remember liking getting circus peanuts when I was a kid.” She then took one out of its bag and tasted it before saying, “Oh God, this really is terrible. What have I done?”


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