Dad Keeps Adding Mayonnaise To Recipes

February 19, 2018

According to sources within the Harrison family, 51-year-old father of three and self-proclaimed “household chef” John Harrison has managed to add mayonnaise to almost every single recipe he has cooked over the past three years. Harrison, who cooks for his wife and children most nights, and enjoys bringing his “creations” to pot lucks, claims mayonnaise is his “secret” ingredient for dishes such as grilled cheese, tuna casserole, and basic salads.

Harrison adds mayonnaise to unconventional dishes like rice, spaghetti and meatloaf. He defends his culinary decision by saying, “I mean, mayo is just basically eggs and oil, so it really is useful in a lot of things. And I cook a mean mayo-burger, if you don’t mind me saying so.”

His 14-year-old son Derek offered a different opinion. “I just want to eat something without mayo in it at the dinner table every once in a while, you know? After eating two servings of dad’s mayo-fruit salad, my heart starts to hurt.”