Dad Awards Self Gold Medal In The Winter Beerathlon

February 13, 2018

After returning from a bar, where he watched several hours of the Olympics on Tuesday night, local dad and craft brewer Neil Park announced to his family that he would be awarding himself the gold medal in the beerathlon, an event he had just made up and which had no competitors.

“Honey, kids, congratulate your father, he’s a Beerlympics champion,” a visibly buzzed Park told his family as he staggered in at 9 o’clock after having what he described as “just a few beers with the boys.” He then proceeded to take out his “gold medal,” which appeared to be a circle of tin foil that had been colored yellow with a highlighter, with the word “Beerathlon” scribbled in Sharpie.

This is Park’s fifth consecutive Olympic medal in the Beerathlon event, and just like previous Olympics this year’s victory resulted in the father-of-two having to sleep on the couch for the night.