Without Sam’s Club, Local Dad Forced To Hoard Tuna At Costco Like Everyone Else

January 11, 2018

The sudden closing of Sam’s Clubs nationwide has caused one local dad to wonder where he’ll get those 4-pound cans of tuna he loves?

“The thing about Sam’s is that I get the wholesale price every day. I mean, I’m sorry, I said I wouldn’t cry…” said Jeb Benson of Illinois, holding back the tears. “It’s not like Costco where everybody and their sister can go shop. Sam’s Club was exclusive.”

Despite the fact that Sam’s Club was no more exclusive than its rival, Costco, Benson maintained his shopping experience will be forever changed.

“I like the big cans of tuna, okay? I’m talking the 4-pounders that the restaurants buy,” he said. “Now I have to go scouring the shelves at Costco like some…regular citizen. It’s humiliating.”

According to Benson’s wife, Mary, things will be fine.

“Oh, Jeb is just worked up because Costco is my store and Sam’s was his,” she said. “It’s not like I won or anything. Well, I guess it sort of is. All I’m saying is there are Sam’s people and Costco people and today was a win for the good guys.”