Nationwide Cold Snap Causes 85% Rise In Thermostat Touching

December 31, 2017

Dads across the country have reported a sharp rise in unsanctioned thermostat adjustments due to extremely cold weather.

“When I go to bed, the thermostat is set at 68 degrees, which is plenty warm by the way,” said Chicago dad Sam Benson. “I wake up and it’s 72. You tell me if you think I’m upset.”

Dallas father of four Edwin Ramirez has experienced even worse problems.

“I have one kid who likes to have it cold at night. Another wants it like the Sahara. And my wife thinks it’s normal to sleep with the temperature at 74 degrees,” said Ramirez. “I set up a hidden camera and saw three different people adjusting the thermostat in one night! Do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the system constantly adjusting the temperature up and down? Do I look like I’m made of money?”

According to the National Weather Council, the frigid temps will continue throughout the week.

“We’re advising fathers across the country to try and be understanding with their families,” said a spokesperson for the council. “If that’s not possible, we suggest getting a Nest and not sharing the password with your kids or spouse.”