Oh No, Dad At Wedding Just Went Out To The Dance Floor

December 1, 2017

Oh no.

Reports are coming in that Ralph Rodgers, a dad currently at a wedding, has just gone out onto the dance floor.

Rodgers, who is considered by many to be an enthusiastic, though not particularly graceful, dancer, appears to have been drawn to the floor by the DJ’s decision to play the Chicken Dance. Sources indicate that once Rodgers gets on the dance floor, he rarely leaves, unless it’s to run over to his mortified children and try to pry them out to dance with him.

Uh oh.

We have received word that this is much worse than previously anticipated, as Rodgers is currently trying to do the worm. Previous reports failed to take into consideration that there was liquor at the open bar, which is more likely to make Rodgers dance, in his words, “like it’s 1999.”

All guests of the wedding are urged to avoid his general area on the dance floor to limit potential injury, as there’s really no way of knowing where his arms or feet will end up at any given time.