By a unanimous vote of 243-0, the National Dad Council has confirmed that not only is Die Hard “obviously” a Christmas movie, it is also the single best movie based on the holiday.
“We had some half-hearted discussions around A Christmas Story and Home Alone, but at the end of the day, the choice was clear,” said Nick Benson, a spokesman for the country’s most prestigious association of dads. “We have also decreed that anyone questioning the council’s ruling will be subject to immediately being grounded and sent to their room without dinner.”
Some have called the proclamation merely a symbolic gesture, as most people now agree that Die Hard is both a Christmas movie and quite probably the best one.
“It’s sad we have to do this,” said Benson. “But the other day a council member was talking to his sister-in-law and she said everybody knew It’s A Wonderful Life was the best Christmas movie. With all due respect to George Bailey, he’s no John McClane. He’s not even in the same ballpark. In fact, Christmas Vacation ranked well above anything made before 1970.”