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Report: Leaves Just Falling To Piss You Off

  • November 9, 2019

“Oh, we could totally stay on the tree all fall and winter,” one of the leaves claimed as it sat among a few thousand of its friends in the middle of your lawn.

“We just really enjoy playing those head games with you,” said the yellow leaf. “It’s a coordinated thing. The first wave is to get you out there with the rake or the blower. Then we wait until the moment you’ve cleared a patch of lawn and deploy reinforcements.”

According to sources, the leaves love making you struggle to gather them into piles.

“We’re leaves. We don’t exactly have the most exciting lives,” one oak leaf explained. “So the idea that we can literally drive people insane just by falling into their grass? That’s the highlight of the year for us!”


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